Home 6 weeks

We can't believe it has been 6 weeks since we got home. We have a sweet, charming little girl who is just adorable. Her tantrums have almost stopped as she has gotten comfortable with the changes in her life. She speaks 40+ English words now and understands many, many more.

She has had all her blood work completed and has been to the dentist. She was great at the appointments, too. No crying, no screaming, and did whatever needed to be done. Her teeth are in great shape with the exception of some small decay between her front two teeth.

She started school today, too. We were going to wait until Spring, but we found a Chinese academy that teaches in Chinese and English so this should make her transition much easier and also give her the opportunity to socialize with other kids.

She can not wait until this evening to go trick-or-treating! She has a Cinderella costume that she has looked at about a 1000 times and this morning when she woke up, her first words were, "Mommy, Halloween!". I'll post a pic of her in her costume tonight.

Cute Pic - just had to share!

1 week home

Sleeping - After 2 nights of tantrums at bed time, she now puts herself to bed with no fuss whatsoever. No stories, no delaying tactics, just a smile and then sleep. Now if we could just get her to sleep past 6:20 am, it would be perfect.

Eating - Can't believe how much this kid eats and is fixated on food. Definitely some deep issues here from 2 years in an orphanage. As long as it is healthy food, we let her eat as much as she wants right now.

Playing - Barrel of Monkeys and Slinky were a big hit. She has also been enjoying puzzles. She has finally figured out corner pieces and matching colors, but not quite the edge pieces yet. She had never done one before and has not had the benefit of anyone explaining it to her. We have tried using a translating tool and hand motioning, but no luck there yet.

Tantrums - She hits, whines, and tantrums when she doesn't get her way. We are working on this. It is exasperating, but she will learn. She has 2 parents absolutely determined to put an end to that.

Language - She can count to 5 in English and knows "hello", "puppies", and "kitty". We need to work more on English with her and find the right motivation for her. She understands more than she used to, just need to get her speaking the words.

We have someone coming over on Thursday who speaks Mandarin to explain some safety issues/rules of the house.

Home at last.........

25 of traveling....but we made it home. And no major issues, either. There were some close calls where we thought she might melt down, but she made it through like a little trooper. It took 1 hour and 45 minutes to get immigration clearance due to only one officer being on duty to handle visas, and our car service reservation expired and they left, but they came back and we made it home.

She likes her room and all her toys, but now never wants to go to bed. So we have had meltdowns each night at bed time, but we figure that's probably pretty normal for a 5 year old.

And she doesn't like her potty training seat. She is trained, but her tiny hiney is too small for regular seats so we got a training seat she won't fall through. But she doesn't want to use it. She wants us to hold her on instead which is surprising given how she likes to be able to do everything herself.

She is not afraid of our little dogs, even when they bark at her, so that is a relief but we have to watch 2 of them closely as they are upset with her addition to the household. She loves the kitties and one of them is being very tolerant.

The countdown begins...

In less than 24 hours, we'll finally begin the trek home.  We leave the hotel in a van bound for the airport in Hong Kong at 8:00 a.m. local time, 5:00 p.m. Vegas time.  And then, ONLY 23 hours later, we'll be home. Wish us luck, we'll need it...

Wednesday 9/14

We had our consulate appointment yesterday and today we will get her visa in the afternoon. The last 2 days went well, lots of playing and she started to cuddle with us yesterday as well. This morning was a tantrum because we came back to the room after breakfast. She only cries now when she doesn't get her way. It is very clear she was thoroughly spoiled and given into by the nannies.

We leave Friday morning and are dreading traveling 20+ hours with a 5 year old with whom it is difficult to communicate, but will be so glad to be home.

The Last Couple of Days

Saturday and, so far, Sunday have been much better.  Yesterday we made it through with no melt-downs and none so far today.  We're definitely giving in on things more than we will later but, for now, it's like carrying a bomb around, hoping it doesn't go off.  So, we're being more lenient than we will later.

The biggest issue is the language barrier.  She never gets upset when someone is there who can calm her down by speaking to her in the language she understands.  We knew it was going to be a problem but there are so many times when you calm a kid down by explaining to them why they need to do something.  We can't do that.  And she IS a five year old and they are sort of like ticking time bombs in general.  But at least the diffusion instructions are in English for other kids.  Our's are in Chinese.

We did some touring around Guangzhou today and tomorrow morning we're going back to the clinic to get the results of the TB test and then more touring.  The trip is winding down and we are ready to get our little monster on our turf where she can blow up if she wants to and it won't matter.  This different hotel every few days and eating every meal out needs to go away in favor of the routine of being at home.

Friday was not good

screaming tantrums 3 times. They lasted about 30 minutes each time. Once because we went back to our room for an hour after breakfast before leaving. Once because we didn't let her push the elevator buttons. Once because we didn't let her shove her way past everyone to get off the plane. Definitely testing our patience....The orphanage said she gets upset when she doesn't get her way and we think they must have given in all the time to make it easier. Sure hope this doesn't last. We have given in on the small stuff to prevent an episode, but it's definitely not easy when she is kicking, hitting, and screaming and we have to stand firm for the more important stuff.

Day 3 and 4

Woohoo!!!!!!!!! No tears! Such a cute and happy little girl. There have been some moments when we thought we might get a tantrum when she didn't get her way, but she always backs down and moves on to something else. Now if we could just get her to drink liquids....

She has decided she really likes the strawberry toothpaste we brought with us. She's been brushing her teeth for about 20 minutes now....with repeated requests for more toothpaste. This is a good thing as we just taught her she needs to brush her top teeth, not just the bottom ones.

Day 2 update and Day 3

Well it happened again, as we expected. Around 4:30 pm she was done playing with us and decided she was ready to go back to the orphanage. 30 minutes of crying later, she calmed down after we resorted to desperate measures (aka M&Ms). We played the rest of the day and at 7:00 pm she took off the backpack and her shoes, got in bed, and went to sleep.

Here are a couple cute pictures.

This morning things went well and we toured the Bund area of Shanghai and went to a silk factory. She seemed to enjoy her stroller ride, and the rest of the afternoon she chatted away non-stop. She put herself to bed for a nap at 4:45 and we just got her up at 6:00 and are playing now. Hoping tonight goes as well as last night.

Update on Gotcha Day and Day 2

Well, last night was interesting. Around 6:00 pm Kaia packed up her backpack and decided it was time to return to the orphanage. We were able to distract her for a couple of hours, but when she realized she was staying, she wailed and cried and screamed for an hour. She would not let us remove her backpack or shoes. We felt so bad for her knowing how scared she is. But she finally cried herself to sleep around 9:00pm. She slept with her backpack on and shoes. We were too afraid of waking her to remove them. We anticipated more tears and frustration from her this morning when she woke and realized she was still with us, but amazingly, she was smiling and playful. She would not let us bathe her except with a washcloth so we decided that was a battle for another day. They don't use tubs and showers at the orphanage from what we can tell.

We had 2 appointments today to finalize the adoption. She started to get car sick, but thankfully, our driver made an effort to lessen the stop and start motion as much as possible and she didn't throw up. If you have ever been to China and seen the traffic, you know how hard this must have been. Picture cars, bicycles, and motorcycles all heading toward each other at the same time with complete disregard for traffic lanes and rules.

We took her shopping for some sneakers and a pair of sandals which she seemed pretty pleased with. Our guide came back to the room with us and helped us communicate with her on taking a bath and we were able to give her one. She now knows what is expected. Our guide also explained to her that she doesn't need to carry around all her toys at all times in the backpack. We think she wanted them with her in case she went back to the orphanage they would not get left behind. Tomorrow will be filled with sightseeing and I am glad I packed children's Dramamine.

Gotcha Day

We met Kaia at 9:30 in the morning and though shy, she seemed happy to have a family. We found out she has known about us since we sent the first gift about 5 months ago. We gave her a Barbie this morning which was a big hit. We also gave her a little purse with some snacks and a lollipop in it and she had the goldfish snack bag opened and empty in no time! She smiled at us in the car ride to the hotel, but as soon as we got there and she realized she would be alone with us, she started to look visibly upset. Once in the room, she cried and cried for about 30 minutes while trying to get out of the room. Finally, she calmed down and decided that she wanted to color in a Disney coloring book we brought. From there it was on to other toys. She seems happy and laughing and has played with us all afternoon. We hope it lasts.

We have also noticed she is very precise. A crayon is not taken out until the one she is using has been put away. All garbage goes in the trash. The fork is put away before the spoon is used. If she takes a sticker and decides not to use it, it goes back in the precise location it came from. Her little cloth purse is kept folded when not in use.

We were a little wary of leaving the hotel today due to her wanting to leave so badly this morning, so we will just hang out here and play. Hopefully when she wakes up in the morning she won't be upset at realizing she is still here and not at the orphanage.

Beijing, Day 2

Well, after sleeping away the second half of day 1, day 2 was much more ambitious.  We started out by stopping at a jade factory on the way to the Great Wall.  It's amazing how similar our cultures can be.  There was some cool stuff here but it was mostly a short talk about jade carving and then high-pressure sales trying to get us to buy jade.  Just like being in the States.  The coolest thing here was a big ship carved from jade.  It's the big draw for slack-jawed tourists (like us).  Kristin did end up buying a "happy family" ball and a glass ball with Kaia's name painted on the inside.

From there, it was off to the Great Wall.  Kristin had been there before and had no intention of repeating her feat of climbing to the first tower on the Wall.  She hung out at the bottom with the wife of another adopting couple we were matched up with.  I decided to see how far I could get.  Surprisingly, my knees and wind held up and I made it to Beacon Tower no. 9.  What does that mean, it means that I climbed up pretty high. The following picture is of me in front of the marker with Chairman Mao's words about the higher you climb, the bigger hero you are.  I went up to the highest tower you can see in the picture.

I went to the one to the upper right of the corner of the sign.

The view from the top.

From the Wall, we went to the Summer Palace.  This is where the Emperor's family hung out in the summer. It was a nice place but chock full of tourists and kind of dirty.  Oh well, I'm sure they kept it cleaner back in the Emperor's day..

The Marble Boat

The on-site Buddhist Temple.  (Beijing is pretty hazy)

Today is the Forbidden City and then flying to Shanghai around 4:00 p.m.  Sometime tomorrow is "Gotcha Day."  And then we'll get what we really came for!

Beijing Day 1

We spent the morning at the Temple of Heaven. We will hang out and relax the rest of the day. Tomorrow we go see the Great Wall and the Summer Palace.

We're in Beijing!

The plane ride turned out to not be as touturesome as we had feared.  The only problem was that these two hay seeds from Wyoming sat across from us and, after they dimmed the lights and had everyone pull down the blinds so everyone could sleep, the husband kept pulling up his blind to look out literally every five minutes.  Every time he did it, I woke up.  I was ready to reach over and choke his scruffy, whiskered neck!  And he was the only one on the plane doing it!  But the food was OK and the flight crew was excellent.  Airlines in the US could learn something about service and courtesy from Korean Air.

We arrived in Beijing just a few minutes late.  Once we cleared Customs and got out to the Arrival Hall at the airport, our guide hadn't gotten there yet.  We were stressing just a little bit but she was there within about 5 minutes after we got out there.  She seems very nice and she showed us to the van and we loaded up and headed to the hotel.

We got to the Jianguo Hotel around 9:30 and checked in.  On the ride in I was relieved to see that there was a Pizza Hut and a McDonalds within walking distance of the hotel.  Thank goodness.  I will definitely be trying the local cuisine but it is nice knowing I'll be able to get a taste of home if I need it.

Today, it's a half day of touring Beijing.  We're going to go to the Temple of Heaven and then we might go to the Silk Market.  It's only a half a day so we'll be able to ease into this tourist thing.  I slept like a mummy last night so, right now, I feel rested and ready.  A few minutes of primping and then off to try the breakfast buffet.  Only 3 more days and we get our little "souvenir."

On the way to Seattle...

Nerd's paradise: free wifi on the flight. I need to get out more...

We'll be in Beijing in a mere 17 hours or so. It'll fly right by... Ugh...

We have our travel dates!

We are leaving on 8/31! We will have a couple of days of touring in Beijing before flying on to Shanghai on 9/4. "Gotcha day" is set for Monday, Sept 5th. We will meet and take Kaia at either our hotel or the Civil Affairs office. We aren't yet sure if we will be able to tour the orphanage or not.

8/31 Depart Las Vegas
9/1 Arrive in Beijing
9/2 Tour Beijing
9/3 Tour Beijing
9/4 Fly to Shanghai
9/5 Gotcha Day
9/6 Paperwork
9/7 Tour Shanghai
9/8 Tour Shanghai
9/9 Pick up passport and fly to Guangzhou
9/10 Kaia's medical exam and TB test
9/11 Tour Guangzhou
9/12 TB test results and touring
9/13 Visa application and oath ceremony
9/14 Pick up Kaia's Visa
9/15 (open day)
9/16 Drive to Hong Kong airport and depart

MORE Pictures!

I'm sorry but these are too dang cute not to share all of them.  Kaia looks so happy in these.  Her world is gonna get rocked in a month or so.  I just hope Kristin and I can substitute for her little buddies she's sharing the cake with in these pictures.  I mean, we both like cake too...  A LOT.

August 4 Update

We received some new pictures after we had a cake sent to Kaia. We don't know yet if she knows about us. We also received updated measurements so I hope I get the right size clothing. No info on her foot size, so it will be a guessing game on shoes. She is now 42 inches tall and weighs 35 pounds. We are expecting our approval to travel in the next 1-4 weeks

We haven't received any updates yet, but another family was in Shanghai this week finalizing their adoption and they were kind enough to take some photos of other children they saw there. We found a picture of Kaia in there! We are expecting to travel in about 5 weeks.

We are almost there! We have some documents being dropped off today at the US Embassy in China which take about 2 weeks for processing. Then we wait 1-4 weeks for China to send us an official letter inviting us to come and pick up Kaia, with 3 weeks being the average wait time. Once we receive that we schedule our appointment with the embassy and arrange our travel. As of right now, we expect to leave in about 6 weeks or so.

Announcing Kaia !!

It's been a year since we started the process, but well worth the wait. We are pleased to announce we have been matched with, and approved as parents for, a 5 year old little girl. Her name is Kaia and she is currently in an orphanage in Shanghai, China. We are currently waiting on the final immigration approval document from the Department of Homeland Security and permission from China to travel. Our goal is to have these by August so that we can make the 2 1/2 week trip in the Fall to pick her up.

For those of you curious about the process, here is a link to a website that nicely lays out the process from beginning to end.
http://www.china-adoption-online.com/adopting-a-child.html


If you are in Nevada and would like information on a local agency, we used Premier Adoption for our Home Study: http://www.premieradoption.org/

We used Wide Horizons for Children as our placement agency:
http://www.whfc.org/

Many of you probably are wondering how this all came about and why we chose China. We have attempted to answer these questions as well as some others below:

Q: When did you first start thinking about adoption?
A: Jim started considering this after the Haiti earthquakes and seeing all the children without families. Kristin quickly jumped on board with the idea.

Q: Why aren't you adopting an American child?
A: Okay, we know this is a sensitive subject for many, but we will try and clarify. Most agencies and adoptions in the U.S. are for infants. Due to our age, this was not really something we wanted to pursue. We next researched adoption through the foster care system. We looked at this closely, and found out that the overwhelming majority of the kids in foster care are NOT available for adoption. After careful consideration, we decided it just wasn't going to work for us.

Q: Why China?
A: After reviewing several countries, their requirements, their reputation for the care of their orphans, and the children available, we selected the China Special Needs program. Special Needs, in this case. refers to children who will be difficult to place due to medical conditions like heart disease, spina bifida, cleft lip/palate, missing limbs, developmental delays, etc. These are just some examples. There are thousands of special needs children in orphanages in China.

Q: Why are you adopting a special needs child when you could get a "healthy" one?
A: Why not?

Q: How did Kaia end up in an Orphanage?
A: She was found at the age of 3.5 in a train station. Her name, date of birth, and origins are unknown. Unfortunately this is all too common in China given the current laws on childbearing. We are not here to state whether we agree or disagree with the laws or the resulting actions of desperate parents, so please, no hate mail. To protect her privacy, we will remove this section of the post before she comes home.

Q: What is Kaia's special need?
A: We would be happy to discuss this offline, but for her privacy will not be publishing this here. But seriously, please feel free to ask, it is not a big deal and we are fine sharing this with friends.

Q: Are there only girls available in China?
A: No, there are many boys available for adoption in China.

Q: Will she speak any English?
A: Nope. Should be interesting. =) We will be trying to learn some basic Mandarin, but hopefully she will pick up English quickly so we don't embarrass ourselves too badly.